One of the biggest fears and concerns that is discussed in the traditional media as well as social media is the issue of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is not a new phenomenon – it is something that has always been there since the emergence of the Internet. What has happened is that more people are aware of this particular issue and are voicing their fears and concerns with everyone – both in real life and online.
Growing up, my parents told me that “sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” What this taught my sisters and I that there are times that people will be rude and say something that might hurt your feelings, but you shouldn’t let it defeat you. Mom had a great blog post on this very issue from a parent / psychologist point of view.
Speaking from personal experience, I experienced cyberbullying as a track and field athlete starting when I was about 14-15 years old. Most of these posts came from specific websites and discussion boards known in the track community. Posts and comments definitely ranged from not only what people were saying, but also by the specific person.
Some did not disclose their identity, while others were confident enough to put down their name, The comments also ranged – so you name it, I was called it. Whether it was during the recruiting process or having my own website to even my performance in track – these were just a few topics of conversation. What was interesting was the fact that some of these individuals felt they were entitled and could say anything they wanted about me since I was so active online with my personal website. I remember thinking even when I first started out in track and I was like – wait a minute – I am still a teenager, and people are saying all of this stuff about me. It was an eye-opening experience for me in terms of managing my own reputation online The comments ranged from the person making the comments – from fans to other athletes, to parents of some of the athletes in track and field – to even college coaches and former athletes.
But what I learned from this experience is that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. By having this experience at a young age and understanding the importance of managing your reputation effectively, it has helped me become the person I am today. Sure, it wasn’t fun to have parents, fans, and even coaches say negative things about you for the world to see – but at least you know how to deal with it if you know what you can do to control the situation. Taking a stand against these cyberbullies takes courage, but it is absolutely necessary to not let them bring you down – it all comes down to how you respond to these comments.
If you are in a situation where you think that you are experiencing cyberbullying, here are some things I learned through my experience:
- Take a deep breath, and reflect on the situation: Did the person identify themselves? Who else is commenting? The thing is with some of these discussion boards, you may see that there are many posts commenting and criticizing the same person, but how do you really know if it is a lot of people, or just one person with many usernames?
- Identify YOURSELF online: In order to establish credibility and manage your reputation proactively, you need to be confident enough to state who you are online. Don’t rely on a username – you need to make sure that people are well aware of the fact that it is you that is posting and responding. You don’t want someone to post things on your behalf.
- Don’t get emotional – be calm, consistent, and identify the person who made the statement: You have to be aware of the situation and not evoke a lot of emotion online – that is the ultimate goal of the person doing the cyberbullying. You want to make sure that your statements and responses back are clear, concise, and direct in a calm manner. You want to make sure to identify the person, especially if they are using a username. One of the reasons people do cyberbullying is that they don’t have to disclose their identity. There are ways to find out the identity of a person posting online – especially with the resources out there presently.
- Contact site host with concerns: If the situation is becoming one where you are like, okay – this is getting out of hand – you can contact the site host directly with this. We had to do this a couple of times to one site since there was an inconsistency with what was being posted and addressed, and what was not being addressed.
In summary, they point in how you deal with cyberbullying is how you react to it. The world is a tough place, and there are going to be people out there that love you, while others will not like you because of who you are and what you represent. Knowing this will prepare you to deal with these online negative situations. What we are seeing here is the bully phenomenon play online – and what is different is that we are seeing this unfold online and to a larger audience. Everyone should be treated with respect and we should act and communicate with others the way that we want to be treated. Take a stand. Show courage. Respect others online. Don’t let words break you.
These are just a few of my thoughts on the subject. Hope you all are having a wonderful day.
Best Wishes,
Karen
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